He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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