She announced her abortion via fbk
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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