i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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