thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
