That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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