So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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