is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
