i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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