..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
