Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
