just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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