am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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