I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
