I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm both gender and math confused
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
