you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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