i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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