My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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