Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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