the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
