i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
