OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
