it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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