If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
