Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How external is "for external use only"?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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