so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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