playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I touched a dick in church today
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
