you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize