Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
