stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
