I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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