If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize