Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
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