Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
