i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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