my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
