Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
