I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
