Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
