batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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