he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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