totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
