i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
