I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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