how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
All I want is dick and wine.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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