I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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