Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
