Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
