We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
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This should have been my text. Area code doesn't fit, though.
Fuck off, Rick.
First one to finish this bottle of Tylenol wins. The loser is fired!
Just FYI, combining acetaminophen and alcohol, not necessarily at the same time, causes severe liver damage. I guess that your suggestion makes you a loser AND fired, simultaneously.