PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
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No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing