i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.