i think i have two assholes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.