I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Holy sore nipples Batman
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
