doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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