I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like the plague
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize