Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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