i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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