what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
