New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
