I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm like, not good at living.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
