craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize