so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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