So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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