I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize