I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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