mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
