She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
