There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
