please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize